Archive for October 2008


So, I had a friend ask me a few months ago (as we were discussing God and religion and all things discussable) why God lets horrible things happen.  She referenced the tsunamis and hurricanes specificially.  In response I gave some lame answer that is textbook Sunday school.  That is fine for some people, but obviously not for me as I thought about the question, over and over and over again!  I knew that there was a deeper answer in my soul; that I know a God that is so much more than that answer I had given.  So, I chewed on it on my drive home the next day.  Here’s what I have to say on it now…

On my way home I was listening to music, which is my favorite thing to do and how I truly worship God, when one of my favorite songs came up, “Held” by Natalie Grant.  If you don’t know it, go check it out because this will make more sense if you can hear the whole song.  But the chorus goes something like this…

‘This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life, and you survive.  This is what it means to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything fell we’d be held’

And my answer came from God at that moment.  God doesn’t ‘allow’ bad things to happen, but when they do He will be there to hold us through the trauma.  The last part of the first verse says…’We’re asking why this happens to us who have died to live, it’s unfair’.  Ahh, the arrogancy of christians sometimes, just because we believe does not mean we’ll be protected from pain; however, God does assure us that He will comfort us during those painful times.  He is ever-faithful!  This leads me to a quote that I found a few weeks ago that says…”Sometimes when we ask God our ‘why’ questions, instead of answers He gives comfort”–Mary Jane Worden.  Isn’t that the truth?

You see, in September I had a miscarriage.  I was 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant and we went to the doctor for what I thought was a routine checkup/ultrasound.  I was so very excited because the first time I heard baby Troxclair’s heartbeat Sean had been at work, and this time he would be there to hear it and see the precious twinkle light on the screen that was her heartbeat.  But that was not what happened, there was no heartbeat.  The aftermath of that is something that I cannot fully put into words yet.  What I do know is that God gave me that song, “Held”, a long time ago to help me heal and that experience with my dear friend so that I would know the ramifications of the song and this experience.  We are still recovering from our loss and some days are really hard and sometimes it’s just instances that seem unbearable.  Yet I do know that I can bear them, because my God is in heaven holding our little Layla and she will never know any pain. 

God is alive and well and we are ‘Held’ by Him on a daily basis.  I’ve heard some really sad news from some people lately specifically cancer diagnosis for two very young people who were ‘healthy’, and all I can do is pray that God will keep them ‘Held’. 

My faith is strong enough for an answer that in some way tells you how strong my God is and I hope that this answer is much more sufficient than my initial response!


2 comments October 24, 2008

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